Stones to Throw
by Heath07
Summary: SLASH --RyanSeth Seth lays it all on the line. 4 of 4 complete
1. 1

  
  


Title: Stones to Throw

Author: Heath07

Rating: R- slash, language, sexual situations (subsequent chapters)

Summary: Ryan/Seth (eventually) Wherein Seth has feelings and decides to do something about them. Things don't go as smoothly as they should.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything... 

Notes: There will be four parts to this fic and it is Seth/Ryan.  
  
  
  


Stones to Throw - Chapter 1/4

______________

Seth hadn't been sure of his gayness until his dad brought home a stray kid from Chino that was mind-bogglingly hot. Though he tried to fight every natural instinct, Ryan just made it impossible for him to deny his feelings any longer.   
  


So he had owned up to his feeling - to himself at least. He was going to tell Ryan, really, he was. Only Ryan was straight and the last thing Seth needed was to lose the only friend he had over a crush. The friendship was more important to Seth than his raging teenage hormones -and they were raging. Every time he saw Ryan in one of those blessedly small white tanks tops, impure thoughts sprang to his mind and he had to leave the room. The bathroom had become his oasis. Even so, there was only so much torture one boy could take...

_____  
  
  
  


Seth was in Playstation nirvana when the doorbell rang. Choosing to ignore it the first two times, he grumbled and paused his game on the third buzz. Outside the door, he could see the outline of someone leaning against the doorframe, a kind of cool, rebel pose. It reminded him of Ryan. He sighed, fondly.   
  


Seth opened the door and the stranger turned to greet him. Seth cleared his throat. Six feet, one inch of wholesome male stared back at him. "Hello?"   
  


He met the stranger's eyes, deep green eyes with tiny blue flecks when the light hit them at a certain angle. If Seth hadn't been sure before, he now knew, one hundred and fifty percent, he was gay.  
  


The man looked fresh out of University with still a glimmer of boyish immaturity set in his jaw. His smile was warm. "Hey! You must be Seth."   
  


Seth concentrated on his mouth. He had red lips-almost artificially so, like he'd just put on a thin sheen of lipstick and very full. His teeth were perfectly straight and the clean white of childhood. The guy's cheeks were high and as if they'd been crafted out of marble. The same could be said for his chin, too. Seth shook his head realizing the guy was still talking and hoping like hell he hadn't noticed he had been checking him out.  
  


"Uh, what?"  
  


He chuckled and it was a heady, echoing sound. "I said: your dad talks about you all the time. He even has this one picture of you in the bathtub."  
  


Seth squinted from the sun coming into his line of vision in the foyer. "I'm sorry, who are you?"  
  


The guy shifted a folder, Seth had been too busy to notice, to his left hand and offered his right hand to Seth. "Oh, yeah, sorry. I work with your dad-I'm a file clerk at his law office-name's Nathan Avery Mulroney, but most people just call me Nate." He shrugged and a little cherub smile filtered onto his face. He was a little tease. Yeah, Seth was in trouble, big time.  
  


Seth took Nate's hand and shook it, dismayed by the tingling feeling that came over him. He chalked it up to numbness from too much video games or masturbation, because obviously he wouldn't be lucky enough to get another gay male, with James Dean-ish qualities, dropped on his doorstep just for him to date. He'd just have to play it cool.   
  


It seemed that his gaydar had yet to kick in. Although he was hoping it would soon, because he was so sick of making Ryan watch The Fast and the Furious and trying to gauge whether he got off on the homoerotic subtleties...well, actually it wasn't all that subtle. Macho guys and fast cars...or was that fast guys and macho cars? He wondered if someone had written Homosexuality for Dummies, if not, someone needed to, soon.   
  


"Okay, Nate," he said, smiling, "now, what's this about a picture of me in the bathtub? It's not the naked one, is it? 'Cause I thought I burned all of those."  
  


Nate's face contorted into a sly half-smile. "Technically? Yeah, I'd say you're pretty naked, but it's the cutest thing, you can't be more than three and you're holding this little sailboat in front of you."  
  


Seth could feel his face flushing. "He's a dead man."  
  


Nate touched his arm, a move that surprised Seth and he jumped back a little. And ding, ding, ding! Gaydar is on and in perfect working order.   
  


"Relax, your dad's pretty cool."  
  


Seth looked at him incredulously. "My dad? Average height, medium build, eyebrows that look like hairy caterpillars? That guy?"  
  


Nate chuckled. "Yeah, that's the one. He talks about you and Ryan all the time, you know? He's really proud of you."  
  


Seth scratched behind his ear and turned nervous eyes to Nathan. For some reason he needed to hear that. As much as he gave his father a hard time, he wanted to make him proud, he just hadn't realized it until being confronted with the truth."He is?"  
  


Before Nate could answer Sandy came in, rubbing his hands on a towel and then clapped Nate on the back. "Nate!"  
  


Nate smiled shyly. "Hey Mr. Cohen, I just stopped by on my way home to drop off the Desovich file. You left it on your desk." He handed over the file and placed his hands in his dress pants. Seth noticed and scanned up and down Nate's body. It was a _nice_ body, outfitted with a tailor made suit and a silk tie. Seth had never been into the conservative look, but Nate really pulled it off with style. Then again, Nate oozed confidence and could probably pull off any look, Seth surmised. He wondered how he would look in a wife-beater... Huh.  
  


Sandy's grin grew. "That was nice of you. Thank you. I see you've met Seth."  
  


Seth could feel Nate's eyes on him as they washed over his skin as if he'd touched him."Yeah, we were just getting acquainted."  
  


Seth snapped to attention and turned his eyes on his father. "Yeah dad, and he told me about the little picture you have in your office."  
  


Sandy knocked Nate's shoulder and laughed. "You sold me out!"  
  


Nate took his hands out of his pockets and turned them, palm side up, out. "Sorry."  
  


Seth peered at Sandy through half-closed, sceptical eyes. "How the heck did you get it? I was sure I burned them all."  
  


"Negatives, son." Sandy winked.  
  


"Ahh, I see. Duped by my own father. You do realize I'm going to have to tell a bunch of embarrassing stories about you as payback." Seth's eyes were no longer on his dad, they were holding onto Nate's and not letting go. If Sandy noticed, he didn't say anything.  
  


"Sounds fair, but I'm keeping the picture up," he said, pointedly.  
  


Seth waved his hand in the air, a grand gesture, even bigger than normal. "No, no no."  
  


Sandy snapped his fingers and smiled. "A deal's a deal. Hey, Nate, why don't you stay for dinner?"  
  


Nate shifted from foot to foot. "Uh, I dunno. Are you sure there'll be enough?"  
  


Seth, in a move that surprised himself, put his arm around the other boy/man and started to lead him into the house. "Yeah, we were just about to order it. Trust me, you picked a good night to stop by. If you'd been here last night you would have had to listen to my mom try to pass off her burned casserole as Cajun."   
  


Nate laughed. "Okay."  
  


"Seth, why don't you go take Nate to meet Ryan and I'll go tell your mother?"  
  


"Sure, pops," Seth said, letting his arm drop from Nate's shoulders and skimming his fingers against his pant leg by accident.   
  


Nate followed Seth through the kitchen and out toward the pool house. Seth had his hand poised to knock. He turned to Nate in explanation, "Sometimes Ryan likes to study naked."  
  


Nate's eyebrows lifted and Seth swore he saw him lick his lips. Yep, gaydar was a good thing. Too bad Ryan was still playing for the wrong team.   
  


"It's a Chino thing," Seth went on, then checked to make sure they were alone. His voice dropped to a virtual whisper. "Well, not really. See, it's like a code for my parents. If I say Ryan's studying naked, it really means he's got a girl in there with him."  
  


"Oh, too bad," Nate said, casually.  
  


"Too bad?" Seth asked.  
  


"That he likes girls," Nate clarified.  
  


"Dude, tell me about it." Seth banged his palm against his forehead, opening one eye to look at Nate. "Pretend you didn't hear that?"  
  


He smiled, and shrugged. "No problem."  
  


Seth took a deep breath and felt the sweat dripping down his back. Apart from Nate making him into a bumbling idiot, it was also hot outside and the combination of the two weren't working well for him. "It's not that I don't like girls, because I do, it's just..."  
  


"You like guys, too," Nate finished.  
  


Seth turned shy eyes to him. "Well, yeah."  
  


"And you like Ryan." It was a statement, not a question.  
  


"Dude, am I that obvious?"  
  


"Just a hunch." Nate smiled, white teeth gleaming in the sun. There was a Gap ad just waiting for Nate somewhere, Seth was sure of it.  
  


"Oh. So you're not like clairvoyant or anything? 'Cause I would really like to find out if Ryan will ever see me as anything but his friend, or worse as a brother. Do you think that makes me sick? Because that sounded awfully disturbing saying it out loud just now. I feel like I need to be on Jerry Springer all of a sudden."  
  


"Hey," he said. Nate's warm hands came down on Seth's shoulders. Seth snapped his head up and caught Nate's eye. "You can't help who you fall in love with. It's not like he's your real brother -now that would make you one sick puppy," he joked, "and I doubt you've ever thought of him that way anyway, so give yourself a break, huh?"  
  


Seth nodded in agreement, mesmerized by the warmth of Nate's skin and eyes.   
  


"Just... my parents don't know and neither does Ryan and I'm so sick of pretending."  
  


"I know the feeling."  
  


"Does my dad know?"  
  


"What, that I'm gay?"  
  


Seth nodded.   
  


"I guess, it's not like I'm hiding anything. I talk about my boyfriend all the time, so I don't see how he couldn't know."  
  


"Great, you have a boyfriend. There goes my plan to seduce you. Oh and I wasn't even going to be subtle about it. There were going to be flowers and candy, the whole works. Wait, do gay guys even give each other flowers and candy? Anyway, your loss, dude."  
  


"Seth, it wouldn't take much to be seduced by you," Nate responded.  
  


Seth felt his face heat up and he was sure his skin was the colour of one of those leftover lobsters Ryan was always bringing him after working at the Crab Shack.   
  


"Really?"  
  


"Really."  
  


"Well, yeah, no...that's cool. That's nice of you to say, 'cause, as you can tell, I'm really bad at this."  
  


"No, you're not. You're adorable."  
  


Seth's mouth hung open. He was about to respond when the door to the pool house whooshed open and Ryan came barrelling out. Seth could feel his palms going sweaty, hoping against all hope Ryan hadn't heard their conversation.  
  


Ryan looked between the pair in confusion.  
  


Seth cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Hey, Ryan, this is, ah, Nate. He works with my dad and he's staying for dinner."  
  


Ryan offered his hand. "Hey man, how's it going?"  
  


"Not bad," Nate said, shaking Ryan's hand. He winked at Seth when Ryan turned. Seth looked on in confusion, trying to figure out the gesture.   
  


"Have you seen my notes for English?" Ryan asked Seth.  
  


Seth rubbed his neck and turned guilty eyes toward Ryan. "Oh, yeah about those..."  
  


Ryan's eyes narrowed. "What did you do?"  
  


Seth squirmed under Ryan's scrutiny. "I sort of borrowed them."  
  


"Borrowed them?"  
  


Seth put his hands out in front of him to stop Ryan's other questions that were sure to follow.

"Yeah, but don't worry they're upstairs drying and you can't even tell they fell into the pool, or that I got jam on them or that..."  
  


"Seth!"  
  


Seth took a step back, pushing his hands out in front of him. "Okay, so maybe a few of the words rubbed off, but don't worry I totally filled it in with what I thought you were going for. Except for the back of the second page, I kinda doodled a sketch of Wolverine piercing through all this food instead of using a fork. Yeah, it was really cool, too. On one of his metal claws there's an olive and the other is, like, a strawberry or something...I can't really remember...and there's this little speech bubble that says: 'It's called fondue, bub!'... Oh oh and then I drew one of Rogue touching..." Seth's tongue stumbled to a stop. "Uh, never mind... I can see you're not finding this amusing."  
  


Seth could see Ryan's jaw clench.   
  


"What I was going for? Doodles? Seth, why didn't you just ask before you took them? I would have made you copies, instead they're ruined and I'll have to get the notes from Marissa."  
  


Seth rolled his eyes. "Oh, like that's some big sacrifice on your part."  
  


Ryan crossed his arms and a muscle in his jaw ticked -never a good sign. "What? What's that supposed to mean?"  
  


Seth took a defensive stance. "I'm just saying, maybe you should be thanking me, I just gave you another excuse to hang out with Marissa, while I rot away with boredom, all by myself."  
  


"What's your problem?"   
  


"Boys, Nate, food's here," Kirsten called from the patio doors, oblivious to the rising tension in the backyard.  
  


Ryan grumbled and slipped past them.  
  


"That went well," Nate said.  
  


Seth moved his hand to the back of his neck and roughly scrubbed. "I don't know why I do and say things like that. It's like I can't help myself. I know all the tests said I didn't have ADD and OCD, but I think they switched my file. I should be medicated, with, like, a lot of heavy drugs that will prevent me from making a fool of myself every time I breathe."  
  


"You are so cute when you babble like that."  
  


"What?"  
  


"You heard me."  
  


"Yeah, I did. I just thought maybe I was dreaming or instead of cute, you said something like pathetic loser -because then I would totally belief you."  
  


Nate shook his head. "You're not a loser and you're not pathetic."  
  


"Well, thanks. For that. I guess."  
  


"And you know what else?"  
  


"What?"  
  


"Ryan? Not so straight...he just doesn't know it yet."  
  


"No way. Believe me, I've hinted. I've suggested. I've let him catch me watching Queer as Folk -by the way, Brian? Complete hottie. I've all but stuck a sign on my chest that says 'I'm here. I'm queer. Do something sexual to me.'"  
  


Nate doubled over with laughter. "Starting a gay revolution in your living room isn't exactly the way to get the guy out of his shell."  
  


"Think I should try liquor?"  
  


Nate shook his head no.   
  


"Then what do you suggest, oh wise, nineteen-year old?" Seth asked, hinting at how old Nate was with all the subtly of a tomcat in heat.  
  


"First of all, I'm twenty."  
  


"Ah, an older man. How close are you and that boyfriend? You know what they say: once you go Jewish, uh...you never get flu-ish... You know, 'cause we know how to make chicken noodle soup and therefore keep you healthy all the time or something..." Seth looked up sheepishly. "Yeah, that didn't work so well for me there. Just put that one on the 'forget I said that' list, okay?"  
  


"Sure," Nate said, once he'd recovered from laughing. "Anyway, if you want real advice, just start at the truth, you can't go wrong there."  
  


Seth scrunched up his nose. "That sounds difficult."  
  


"It will be, but at least you won't have to walk around on eggshells anymore. Why do you think he's so pissed at you for ruining his papers? I bet he doesn't even give a shit about those, he only got really mad when you brought up that girl."  
  


"So what are you saying?"  
  


"I'm saying, he's just as frustrated as you are, only he has more to lose."  
  


"What does he have to lose?"  
  


"Everything. You. Your parents. A home. You see where I'm going?"  
  


"The picture has gone from black-and-white to colour, but could you turn the volume up a little? I still seem to be missing something."  
  


"Your parents are always going to be your parents and they're always going to love you because you're their son, Ryan's not. You and I both know Sandy wouldn't kick him out, but I bet he doesn't know that. You think you're going through something, think about him and what he must be going through. I've been where you're both at and it's not a pretty place, but I promise you it gets better."  
  


Seth shrugged, not all that inclined to believe that the situation was going to get better. Worse, he believed. Better? Not so much.  
  


"Come on, let's go eat before it's all gone."

________

To be continued....


	2. 2

Thank you everyone for the reviews. I'm glad I could amuse you. ;)

Stones to Throw ---- 2/4

_______  
  


Seth and Nate found their way to the dinning room where everyone was already sitting and helping themselves to cartons of Thai take-out.   
  


Seth's throat felt dry. He picked up the glass of ice water in front of him and gulped down three quarters of it. The glass began to shake in his hand when he caught Ryan's eye across the table, so he set it down and concentrated on filling his plate. He struggled through the meal to put food into his mouth, for some reason he just didn't feel hungry anymore. He hated when Ryan was pissed at him.  
  


Seth resigned himself to stay out of Ryan's way for the next few days...hours, even if it killed him.   
  


As soon as dinner was over, Ryan headed straight for the pool house and barely looked at Seth as he said goodnight to everyone. It stung, Seth wouldn't deny that. It wasn't the first time Ryan had been angry with him and he didn't think it would be the last, but it never made it any easier to deal with.  
  


Seth and Nate played video games for a while until Nate decided he had to go home, leaving Seth alone with nothing but his thoughts.

_______

Seth decided to finally bite the bullet and talk to Ryan a few days later.  
  


Seth stepped into the pool house quietly. All the lights were off and as far as he could tell Ryan was out, probably with Marissa baking cookies or something equally mundane and domestic. 

Ryan really was whipped, even if Marissa wasn't officially his girlfriend.   
  


Seth looked around the room, picking up random things and then setting them back down. He spotted Captain Oats on the bedside table and moved forward to get it. "How the hell?" he said, aloud, shaking his head, trying to figure out exactly when Captain Oats had galloped into the pool house.   
  


Holding the plastic toy in his hands, he was surprised when the bathroom door flew open with Ryan standing in the archway.  
  


Ryan came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and drying his hair with another. A whoosh of steam followed him out the door. He flipped off the light and walked further into the room.   
  


Seth's mouth went dry. He began to back away toward the door, deciding he needed to exit the situation.   
  


"Ryan!" Seth said, shocking them both.   
  


He watched the muscle in Ryan's cheek jump. Retreating seemed like a good idea, but that would never solve anything. No, he couldn't leave now, he had to get everything out in the open.  
  


Seth swallowed. "Hey, man. I, uh, didn't know you were here. What's going on?"  
  


"Just getting ready for bed," Ryan answered flatly. "Did you need something?"  
  


"Need something?" he echoed, only mildly aware that he was speaking out loud. Hell yeah, he needed something. He needed Ryan. All over him. Now. "No, no man, I'm cool. I just thought we could talk."

"About?" Ryan stepped over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of boxers. The towel began to drop.   
  


Seth turned around giving Ryan some privacy, because all Seth really wanted to do was bend Ryan over the nearest flat surface and have hot, sweaty sex...over and over again, and it was so not a good idea to maul a friend while they were trying to get dressed. It was just bad manners.   
  


Seth could hear the rasp of fabric as it slid up Ryan's finely haired legs and bit his lip to keep his eyes from wondering. He didn't even look at the slight reflection caused by all the windows...well, not much.   
  


The room was fairly dark and Seth stubbed his toe turning when he finally heard Ryan getting under the covers on his bed. He cursed silently and shook off the injury, completely graceless.

"Tired?" Seth asked, for lack of things to say and also to draw out the Very Scary Conversation he was about to have.   
  


Ryan shrugged and reached for a book that was lying on the ground. The move stretched and defined all those nice muscles Ryan had and Seth had to force himself not to stare.  
  


"Ryan, I... I want to tell you something."  
  


"Hmm?" Ryan asked, looking up from his book for a second and then going back to it.  
  


Seth cleared his throat. "It's kind of important."  
  


"I'm listening."  
  


Ryan turned the page and the image of Ryan wearing glasses and smoking a pipe popped into Seth's head for some unknown reason. It was all very random even for Seth's attention deficient brain. Seth shook it off and stepped closer.   
  


"It's kind of hard for me to say, mainly because I've never had to say it before..." Seth paused. "You know, this is really going worse than I thought it was, so I'm just going to say it." Seth inhaled sharply and then exhaled with a whistle of air. "I totally have a crush on you and it's so fucking weird because until you came here I was in total denial about liking anybody but Summer and we both know how well that worked out... I totally don't expect anything from you, but I really thought I should let you know, because like, in case, I creep you out or something if I stare...not that I mean to stare, it's just that you're so damn hot...and oh god, I can't believe I just said it, but it's the truth and yeah, I really need to breathe right now."  
  


When Seth finally felt brave enough, he let himself look at Ryan. Big mistake.   
  


Ryan looked like a deer caught in headlights for-count them-two seconds, before he looked down and proceeded to go back to reading his book.   
  


Seth looked around the room, wondering if he was on one of those hidden camera shows or maybe The Twilight Zone.  
  


Unbelievable!  
  


"Uh...okay then, I'm just going to..." Seth rushed out the door and through the backyard into the house, not stopping until he was back in his room and leaning against his door.  
  


He tried to hear if anyone had followed him, but the pounding in his ears didn't stop for a full thirty minutes and by that time he was past the point of caring and too tired to stand up.   
  


It wasn't until he attempted to get dressed for bed that he realized he was still clutching Captain Oats tightly in one hand. Shaking his head, he tossed the toy on his bed and collapsed without bothering to change.  
  


___  
  


Seth rolled over and felt something sharp poking him in the side. Lifting up, he felt around until his hand collided with hard plastic. Pulling, he dragged Captain Oats out from under him and threw him on the floor. He rolled on his back and stared up at the ceiling. His eyes darted to the alarm clock beside his bed and he was surprised to see how early it still was. Closing his eyes he tried to find sleep again, but kept drawing up images from the night before and decided he wouldn't be getting anymore sleep. Ryan hadn't said one word. Not one.  
  


Standing up proved difficult, since he had a stitch in his side and his hip felt like it'd been hit with a sledgehammer. He eyed Captain Oats with disdain. Finally mobile, he picked out some clothes and headed for his private bathroom.   
  


Ten minutes later he was at the front door, grabbing his skateboard from the hall closet and down the driveway before anyone was the wiser.   
  


Seth had been wandering around aimlessly for almost two hours when he came to his father's law building and decided he needed more advice.   
  


Seth drummed his fingers along the elevator buttons as he waited. Waiting was not his specialty, but he was not going to walk twelve flights of stairs after the night of restless sleep he'd had. When the bell finally pinged above his head he entered the elevator with a sigh of relief.   
  


Stepping into his father's office, he noticed his dad was hunched over paperwork and looking more stressed than he had seen him in a long time. Sandy shouldn't be caged in some big office, he needed to be free, maybe out surfing with the breeze around him, instead of choking through stacks of paperwork.   
  


Seth felt bad, he did, but communication between them had really broken down since Seth blurted out one night that he thought he was gay. They hadn't spoken of it since. And that was even before he'd brought home Ryan. They both just went on pretending the conversation had never taken place and for awhile Seth had actually thought he dreamt it instead of lived it. And talk about denial, the closest they'd come to dealing with it was the introduction of Nate. Perhaps it was Sandy's way of telling Seth he accepted him no matter what but that he couldn't say the words. In any regard, Seth was too worried about Ryan and too tired to talk about it now. Avoidance was always easier.  
  


Seth knocked on the inside of the door. "Dad?"  
  


Sandy looked up from his paperwork and his face lit up. "Seth, what a surprise! What are you doing here?"  
  


Seth shifted his skateboard to his other hand and looked guiltily past his father to the window. "Uh, listen dad, is Nate around?"  
  


"Nate?" Sandy asked, standing and walking in front of his desk where he rested his backside against it.   
  


Seth couldn't look his father in the eye. He was too afraid of seeing shame and disappointment there. "Yeah, I really need to talk to him."  
  


Sandy placed his hands against the desk, his body language open and accepting, but Seth refused to acknowledge it. "I'm right here, you can talk to me, son."  
  


"No really, dad, I can't."  
  


Sandy flinched.   
  


"It's not something you can really help me with," Seth tried to explain.   
  


Sandy cleared his throat and stood. "No, no, I understand."  
  


"Dad-"  
  


Sandy turned and plucked a frame off his desk. He studied it a minute before he handed it over to Seth. Seth took the frame and saw himself at about three years old in the bathtub with a sailboat placed strategically in front of him, other than that he was naked. Seth smirked despite himself. "I can't believe you have this in your office. You're a strange, strange fellow, aren't ya?"  
  


Sandy chuckled. "Are you kidding me? I love that picture. I bought you that boat remember? You used to sleep with it even."  
  


Seth nodded. "Yeah, I remember."   
  


Sandy stood then and went around the desk, picking up some files and reading through them. "I know it's embarrassing, take it with you if you want, I have others."  
  


It wasn't until then that Seth looked around the office and saw all the framed pictures of himself, his mother and father. A pang of guilt hit him hard in the stomach. He swallowed hard.   
  


"You know, that's okay. Why don't you just hold onto it a little while longer?" Seth stepped forward and set the frame down gently.   
  


Sandy picked it back up and smiled. "Are you sure?"  
  


Seth smiled softly. "Yeah, pops."  
  


Sandy looked up and met Seth's eye. "Nate's office is at the end of the hall."  
  


'Thanks," Seth said and left.  
  


Seth walked down to the very end of the hall and saw an office with a few cubicles. No one seemed to be there. He stepped in and looked for Nate's nameplate. Finding his desk, he leaned over the edge to find Nate on the floor with a bunch of files spread in front of him.  
  


"Ah, you are really, like, not organized. I've seen garbage dumps cleaner than this. You're as bad as me." Seth laughed.  
  


Nate looked up and a smile filtered onto his face. He had a really great, kind smile; one of those smiles that makes you want to smile when you see it. "Hey man, what's up?"  
  


"Not much," Seth answered, resting his skateboard against the desk. "So, I did what you said, I told Ryan everything."  
  


"So it went good, then?" Nate asked, distractedly as he looked through a stack of papers.  
  


All tentativeness gone, Seth's hyperactive streak made an appearance as he began to get into full panic mode. "No! It went the opposite of good. If you took good, wrapped it in a scummy piece of newspaper, tossed it down the sewer and then bulldozed over it, that's pretty much how not good it went."  
  


Nate stopped what he was doing for a second and looked at Seth. "So what happened?"  
  


Seth raised his hands in the air in disbelief. "What do you mean what happened? I got up the nerve to tell him everything and he just sat there reading like I wasn't even there."  
  


"Hmm."  
  


"I just bared my soul and got my heart crushed and all you can say is 'hmm'? Jesus, you should be a therapist. Some poor slob will come to you asking for advice and you'd probably direct them to the nearest bridge and give them a little push."  
  


"Seth, let's not get hysterical," Nate said, shaking his head. "What happened after you told him?"  
  


"I just told you, nothing. I told him to forget everything I just said and I walked out, then I got up early and came straight here... well, I came here after I walked around for a bit...I had one incident with a seagull, but you really don't want to hear about that and I don't think I'll be talking about it anytime soon. It was a very traumatic experience-those things are vicious. That reminds me, man, I skipped breakfast, you got anything to eat?"  
  


Nate snorted and threw him a protein bar form his desk drawer.   
  


"Thanks," Seth said, quietly. "So what should I do?"  
  


"Try again."  
  


"That's all you have to say?"  
  


"Seth, you didn't even give him time to react." Nate finally found the file he'd been looking for and stood, leaving the mess of paper still spread out over the floor. "Tell you what, next Saturday there's a rave. I was planning on going. You and Ryan can come along and maybe sparks will fly." He bounced the folder off of Seth's head and started walking away.  
  


"Dude, don't say fly."  
  


Nate stopped and turned to face Seth, a smile played on his lips and his eyes glimmered with laughter. "You're a very strange individual, Seth Cohen."  
  


"Yeah, I get that a lot."  
  


"All right, I have to bring this to your dad, so I'll give you a call later." Nate headed for the office.  
  


"Wait, that's it?" Seth grabbed his skateboard and followed him.  
  


"Listen, I don't have time to talk right now. I'm kinda at work, you know."  
  


"Oh right, I knew that. Okay, you keep doing what you're doing and I'll talk to you soon. Excuse me now while I ignore Ryan for the rest of my life. Or better yet maybe on the way home I'll jump over a bridge and then I won't have to find anymore new and exciting ways to hide and avoid."   
  


Nate grabbed Seth by the shoulders and shook him slightly. "Stop being so melodramatic. God, you're such a queen. Now go home."  
  


For once Seth was struck speechless.  
  


* * *

To be continued...


	3. 3

Thanks for the reviews.

Stones to Throw 3/4

____________  
  
Over the next few days, Seth spent more time on the phone with Nate than he did hanging out with Ryan. Things were still strained and he just didn't know how to talk to Ryan like a normal person anymore. He'd listened to Nate talk about past boyfriends, the first time he realized he was gay, the painful memories of being disowned by his parents and kicked out at eighteen, how he'd pulled his life together and scraped together money from odd jobs to live and to go to school and a bunch of other things. It was during one of these marathon phone sessions that he realized Nate and Ryan were a lot alike.  
  


Seth liked Nate, but not the same way he liked Ryan and sometimes he wished he could like him like that. It would make everything so simple if he didn't want Ryan so bad. Ryan clouded his judgement in everything he did. Seth had turned down Nate's repeated offers to set him up with some of his friends because he still held up hope that Ryan would come around.   
  


Seth sat on the floor in the living room playing video games, occasionally eating from a bowl of soggy Fruit Loops, he was so enraptured that he didn't hear Ryan come in until he spoke.   
  


"Hey!"   
  


Seth did a double-take making sure he was the person Ryan was talking to. Satisfied that he was the only person in the room with Ryan he responded with a simple, "hey."  
  


Ryan sat down on the couch, nursing his own bowl of cereal. "So what's going on?"  
  


Seth felt Ryan watching him, the hair at the back of his neck prickled. He remained cautious. "Hmm? Nothing, just playing a little Playstation."  
  


Seth could just barely make out Ryan's shape from the corner of his eye. It didn't help matters that Ryan was still wearing what little clothing he'd probably worn to bed and it was way distracting. "You've been busy the past few days. I haven't seen you much."  
  


Seth paused the game and faced Ryan. "Yeah, I uh...thought it would be best if I stayed out of your way."  
  


"You don't have to."  
  


"Okay," Seth said, returning to the game.  
  


Ryan stood, hovering over Seth. "No, Seth, I'm serious. We can get past this. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. You know, everything's cool. You're gay, or bi-sexual or whatever and I'm fine with that."  
  


"You are?" Seth asked, sceptically, his eyes narrowing.  
  


"Yeah, you know, it took me a while to process it all, but I've taken it all in and nothing's changed. I mean you're still Seth, right?"  
  


Seth agreed silently.   
  


Seth sensed more than felt Ryan sit down next to him and grab the other controller. "Can I play?"  
  


Seth nodded. "Yeah, sure. Of course. Is this game okay?"  
  


"It's fine."  
  


It was fine and they were fine. It was fine-fucking-tastic. Everything was fine on the surface, but it wasn't fine. Nothing was fine because even now, Seth had to control himself not to reach over and touch Ryan and he didn't know how much longer his willpower would let him keep up this strongly veiled pretense of everything being fine. He needed to talk to Nate about the latest development in the whole Ryan saga.   
  


As if Nate had been reading his mind, the phone rang and Seth reached over Ryan to pick it up. He realized too late that he was pressing his chest against Ryan's thigh, but once he recognized the uncomfortable look on Ryan's face, he righted himself and moved away.  
  


"Hello?"  
  


"_Hey Seth, it's Nate_."   
  


Seth smiled. "Hey man, s'up?"  
  


"_Oh, going all ghetto on me, huh?_"   
  


"For shizzel," Seth dead-panned.   
  


"_ Listen, I don't think I'm up for going to that thing on Saturday._"  
  


"What? You're kidding me, you have to go. I can't go without you. Please? Come on, man, don't leave me hanging." Seth twirled the phone cords around his fingers nervously.  
  


Nate chuckled on the other line. "_All right, if it means that much_."  
  


"You know it does, and you know I appreciate it. Wait, why aren't you up for it?" Seth asked, concerned.  
  


"_Chad and I broke up_," Nate confessed after a minute.  
  


"No way! Why?"  
  


"_I caught him cheating on me_," he replied, simply.  
  


"Damn!"  
  


"_Yeah_."  
  


"Well hey, maybe this thing will take your mind off if it. Maybe you'll even meet someone."  
  


"_Maybe I've already met someone_." Seth gasped. "_Hey, Seth_?"  
  


"Yeah?"  
  


"_Wear something tight_."  
  


"What?" Seth sputtered, catching Ryan's eye.   
  


"_You heard me._" Nate hung up and Seth stood in rapt silence.   
  


Seth set the receiver down and shook his head trying to piece together the events that had just transpired.   
  


"Who was that?" Ryan asked.  
  


"Nate," Seth answered, absently.  
  


"Are you two going somewhere?"  
  


"What? Oh yeah, we're going to this rave on Saturday."  
  


"A rave? Seth are you sure that's a good idea?"  
  


"Yes, Dad, I think it's an awesome idea. Especially since Nate and his boyfriend just broke up," Seth said with badly masked glee.  
  


"So what, you're interested in this guy?"   
  


Seth couldn't read the expression on Ryan's face but hoped it wasn't disgust. For a minute he'd lost himself and forgotten what shaky ground he was on with Ryan when it came to their friendship and his 'gayness'.  
  


Seth shrugged. "I dunno. He's really helped me and he's nice," Seth said, "and he thinks I'm adorable," he added almost as an afterthought. "You should come. I know it's not really your scene, but you can if you want to. There'll probably be, you know, people like me and Nate, uh, you know..." Seth stopped when he noticed the look on Ryan's face and he felt bad for treating him like an idiot child. "I don't want you to freak out about...that."  
  


Ryan shrugged and took another mouthful of cereal. "I'll go," he mumbled between spoonfuls.  
  


"You will?" Seth asked sceptically.  
  


"Yeah. It'll be fun."  
  


Seth's eyebrows raised, his heart beat sped up. "Uh, no...yeah, okay."

_____________

Ryan had been acting funny all day -at least in Seth's opinion. Everywhere Seth had gone Ryan had followed. It was beginning to get weird. It was like sometime between the phone call with Nate and the preceding hours, theirs roles had become reversed. It was now Ryan that seemed to be hanging on every word Seth said and that was saying something because Seth spoke a lot.  
  


Ryan actually had seemed stoked about going out and not just to humour Seth. It was definitely going to be a night they wouldn't forget soon - at least that's what Nate had insisted the eighteen times Seth had phoned him freaked out.   
  


Hearing Nate's car horn, Seth stepped into his shoes and called for Ryan. "Hey man, hurry up!"  
  


"I'll be there in a minute." He heard Ryan say from the bathroom.   
  


Seth grabbed his wallet from the table and headed out the door. He made his way to Nate's car, smiling the whole time. In truth, he was nervous as hell, but had decided to use that energy to whine. It only seemed logical. Seth peered into the open window and eyed Nate. "Dude, this is such a bad idea."   
  


"Would you just relax?" he said, leaning over and unlocking the door.  
  


Seth climbed into the passenger seat and pulled his seatbelt across his chest.   
  


"Dude, I'm a Cohen, we worry about everything. Anyway, Ryan will be out in a minute, or so he says," Seth told him without looking up. He drummed his fingers against the dash and spared a glance at Nate who was watching him. "A-are you wearing make-up?"  
  


"A little eyeliner," Nate said, casually. "Why, you want some?" He teased.  
  


Seth's eyebrows creased. "No, no no. I'm perfectly all right the way I am, thank you very much."  
  


Nate's eyes scanned Seth. "You look great by the way."   
  


Seth eyed himself in his usual low-slung jeans--maybe a little tighter than normal--and a tight baby blue t-shirt with dark blue edging on the sleeves and neckline. "Riiight."  
  


Nate pointed to Ryan exiting the house. "Here comes your boy."  
  


Seth perked up, focussed on Ryan as he strutted toward the car. "He's so not my 'boy' yet. You know this is totally not going to work out, Ryan's going to decide I'm a freak and totally break my neck."  
  


Nate smirked. "Think positive."  
  


"Oh, I am. I am positive Ryan could snap my neck."  
  


"Seth."  
  


Seeing Ryan stop to lace up his combat boots in the middle of the driveway, Seth turned to Nate and attempted some innocent flirting. "Since you're all of a sudden single and you have called me adorable--more times then once, I do believe--how about some rebound sex thrown my way? I can be your boy-toy after I get my heart broken, it's the least you owe me for making me tell him the truth and getting squashed like an iddy-biddy bug."  
  


"That's tempting, Seth, but I have a feeling things are going to work out better than you think," Nate affirmed catching Ryan's eye and looking away.  
  


"See, that's just it, I happen to know you're wrong," Seth said, completely oblivious.  
  


"We'll see."  
  


Ryan hopped into the back and Nate pulled away from the curb before he had even closed the door. Seth turned around and gave Ryan an apologetic smile.  
  



	4. 4

Here is the last chapter. I'm so glad people enjoyed this fic. I had a blast writing it and making up a whole new character (that I'm so glad people actually liked!). Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed; your comments were awesome and well received.   
  


Just in case you were wondering, the title comes from the song Bother by Stone Sour. There's a line that goes: "Stones to throw at my creator. Masochists to which I cater," and I just really thought that fit, so thus I stole that and made it my title. ;-) Don't sue me, though. lol  
  


Stones to Throw 4/4   
  
  
  


________

The smell of adolescence was a heavy condensed smell, a pain-riddled smell, a lonely smell, yet to some it was an exuberant exciting smell, hinting at promise and change, stirring greatness and tumultuous nights of self-discovery and innocence unleashed. It was the smell of dry ice and bonfires, underage drinking and illegal drugs. It was the hot odour of firsts and sexual experimentation, the luring breath of wants and needs, it was an addictive smell once it was recognized.   
  


--

Seth followed Nate through crowds of half-dressed party boys with Ryan close behind. He found comfort in the alluring darkness of the woods with the coal-fire smell of wood burning in garbage cans. Figures danced against the glow, looking like mythic creatures participating in sacrificial ceremonies; celestial bodies seeking grace.   
  


Seth turned to Ryan and gave him a small smile. Ryan returned it hesitantly.   
  


Sound and light and so much skin was almost too much and Seth contemplated turning around and telling Nate he wasn't ready for all of this and Ryan most definitely wasn't, but he didn't. He persevered and let Nate drag him to a tent where kegs rested in tubs of ice and men were making out in the open against metal poles that held the tent together.   
  


Seth watched in utter fascination, wondering if Ryan would ever take him like that; if he would ever be open enough to touch him in public and not care who watched. There was obviously more voyeur in Seth than he had acknowledged before.   
  


Nate grabbed Seth's hand and dragged him close, leaning over his mouth brushed against his ear. "Come on, let's dance."  
  


Seth held his hands out in front of him. "Uh, no. No way! I don't dance. Trust me it is not a pretty sight when I dance. People get hurt. You could lose an eye or a foot. It's just not a good idea."  
  


Nate's grip tightened around Seth's waist. "You're dancing with me," he commanded and dancing sounding like something altogether sexy and fabulous the way Nate said it. Nate led Seth toward other moving bodies and he forgot to protest anymore.  
  


Seth turned, waved and watched Ryan stand alone, his arms crossed and an emotion on his face he couldn't quite ascertain.   
  


"What are you doing?" Seth asked when they were finally out of earshot.  
  


Nate looked at him innocently. "What do you think?"  
  


"I think you're confusing the hell out of me. I thought the whole point was to get Ryan to admit to his...you know, feelings."   
  


"It is." The blank look on Seth's face prompted Nate to continue, "Jealousy, Seth. Plus, we can have some fun. Now shut up and dance."  
  


"Ah, right. Gotcha." Seth moved to the trance beat to the best of his ability -and his ability was minimal at best.  
  


"Ow! Shit," Nate complained teasingly when Seth collided hard against him, knocking his bony elbow into Nate's ribs.  
  


"Sorry," Seth said, sheepishly, "I told you I suck at this." Nate surprised him by placing a chaste kiss on Seth's temple.   
  


Seth pulled back at looked at Nate questioningly. Nate shrugged. "Why'd you stop dancing?"  
  


Seth smiled. "I don't know."  
  


Nate pulled Seth close and ran his hand down his back. Tingles of awareness began to filter through Seth's body. He watched over Nate's shoulder as Ryan gulped down a shot some random passerby offered him. Huh. "Do you think we should have left Ryan alone?"  
  


Nate looked over his shoulder and spotted Ryan looking their way. His gaze was intense. "Stop worrying, he's fine."  
  


"I know, but shouldn't we-"  
  


"Seth," Nate warned, drawing the boy closer. His hand went to Seth's hip and he tugged slightly on his belt loop.   
  


Seth let out a little noise and focussed back on Nate. "Shutting up now."  
  


They were so close Seth could feel every contour and the perfect definition of muscle that resided under Nate's tight black t-shirt. It was a strange feeling. Foreign. To be so close to another guy with no worry about being called some harsh name or sucker punched in the stomach.   
  


Seth was about to speak when he felt Nate's lips softly, tentatively on his. Nate pulled back and held Seth's face in his large hands.   
  


"Uh...what...?"  
  


"I just kinda felt like kissing you."  
  


"Huh, you know that happens to me surprisingly less than one would think. Not that I minded, 'cause I didn't, but I feel I should tell you, you're so Anna right now."  
  


"Who's Anna?"   
  


"Anna was the girl I used to make another girl jealous a few months ago."  
  


Nate nodded. "Ah, I see. Well, if it makes you feel any better, I had a Jacob once."  
  


"Jacob?" Seth asked and for the first time noticed how well the eyeliner brought out Nate's eyes.  
  


"The gay version of Anna," said Nate in explanation.   
  


"Huh, interesting."  
  


"Look Seth, you're adorable and if you were a little older and more experienced and not so in love with Ryan, we could have something together, but as it is, I'm just helping out a friend and having a little fun while I'm at it."  
  


"Sounds fine to me." Seth scanned the crowd of grooving bodies having lost sight of Ryan. It wasn't until he felt a tap on his shoulder that he realized Ryan must have had more to drink and that drinking and Ryan didn't mix well.   
  


It was Nate that felt the real proof of that statement, though. One minute they were all standing calm and the next Ryan's fist was connecting with Nate's face.  
  


"What the hell is wrong with you?" Seth turned accusatory eyes on Ryan while he reached out to touch Nate's bloody lip. Nate hissed and pulled away, sticking out his tongue and licking off the blood.   
  


Ryan looked shocked, like he didn't know he'd just punched Nate for no particular reason. The blow must have sobered him up pretty fast. Or maybe there was a reason that he didn't want to face and Seth was really not ready to think about that either. "I-I don't know. I'm sorry, man. Really," Ryan apologized.  
  


"It's...okay," Nate said, readjusting his jaw. "Just don't do it again, because I will hit you back next time," he warned.  
  


Ryan nodded and swiped his hand through his hair. "I don't know why-"  
  


"Yes you do," Nate interjected. He grabbed Seth's shoulder and gave Ryan a pointed look. "I'll let you two talk. Think you can get home on your own?"  
  


"Yeah, it's not that far," Seth assured him.  
  


"All right. I'll call you tomorrow to see how everything went," he said lower so Ryan couldn't really hear.  
  


"Okay." Seth gave Nate a little nod and started to move away but then thought better of it. "Hey Nate?"  
  


"Yeah?"  
  


Seth cocked his head to the side. "Thanks."  
  


Nate smiled. "Yeah, no problem. Just tell your dad that I deserve a raise."  
  


"Sure, I'll plead your case as soon as I get home...well, maybe it can wait until breakfast."  
  


Seth watched Nate weave through the crowd until he couldn't see him anymore and then turned toward Ryan. He scratched his head, trying to find a tactful way to break the ice. "Soooo.... what was that, dude?" Seth wasn't into subtly.   
  


Ryan shrugged, still not owning up to anything. "I don't know."  
  


"Fine," Seth said, and turned to leave. He made his way through the crowd and headed out toward the highway.   
  


Ryan caught up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. The heat burned through Seth's t-shirt.   
  


"I lied. I know exactly why I hit him, but it changes everything, Seth."   
  


"What does?"  
  


"Admitting I was jealous," Ryan said, quietly.  
  


Seth had a hard time suppressing his grin. "You were jealous?"  
  


"I'm not good with words," Ryan confessed. "I'm sorry," Ryan apologized and before Seth got to ask him what for Ryan pushed Seth down into the dirt, his thigh between his legs and kissed him hard.   
  


Ryan's tongue pushed past Seth's lips and entered his mouth and it was like fire and heat and breath. Their bodies were pressed impossibly tight and their telltale signs of arousal ground together in harmony and then in counter rhythm. Fingers wound their way into Seth's hair making him moan into Ryan's mouth.   
  


Ryan's heavy weight was a reward he didn't know he had wanted so bad and now that he felt it, he didn't want to breathe again without it. It was electric and shocking and a thousand different shades of honest. Their lips connected brutally and then pulled apart with a tenderness that was a direct contradiction.   
  


Everything was a contradiction.   
  


The slowness of Ryan's hands on Seth's hips.   
  


The roughness of his thrusts.   
  


The shallowness of Seth's breathing.   
  


The fullness of Ryan's lips.   
  


The heat between their bodies.   
  


The slight chill in the air and the cold of the ground.  
  


Then they were rolling, over and over, grass and soil turning up and staining their clothes.   
  


"Ow, fuck!"  
  


Ryan pulled back, breathing hard. "I thought- I didn't mean-"  
  


"No, I've got a rock under my shoulder. Just move a little to the left."  
  


Ryan laughed and dropped his head to Seth's shoulder.   
  


"Hey, you can laugh at me later, don't stop that kissing thing you were doing before."  
  


Ryan's gaze was intense and his blue eyes were bright with desire. "I'm sorry if I made you feel like a freak... you know, before. It's just..."  
  


"You don't have to explain." The hard pressure of Ryan against his thigh was completely foreign and decidedly awesome.   
  


"Yeah, I do," he said, his hand finding its way under Seth's shirt and rubbing the soft skin he found just above the elastic of his boxers.  
  


"Okay, you can explain, but I can't guarantee I'll hear everything. I'm a little distracted."  
  


"What?" Ryan asked, then caught his subconscious ministrations on Seth's stomach and stopped. "Oh."  
  


"It's all right, I can see how it would be hard to resist. I've been told I'm adorable, you know?"  
  


Ryan smirked. "Yeah, your Mom says that all the time, doesn't she?"  
  


Seth groaned. "Dude, so not a good time to bring up my mother."  
  


"Sorry."  
  


"Man, stop apologizing and let's do that kissing thing again, like, now." Seth angled his head and pressed his lips against Ryan's once again.   
  


"Wait."  
  


"Jesus, what now? Are you trying to torture me?"  
  


Ryan let out a strangled no and moved off of Seth, laying on his side. "I thought I could ignore this thing between us, but then I saw you with _him_ and I didn't care if I was being selfish anymore. I want to be with you Seth and I don't care anymore if your parents hate me."  
  


"Wait a minute," Seth said, sitting up and hovering over Ryan. Ryan looked so scared and insecure, almost like a child, it made Seth's heart ache. "It's not selfish and they won't hate you. I-I think my dad knows... at least about me. I think he's even okay with it."  
  


"But-" Seth's finger covered Ryan's lips to prevent him from speaking.  
  


"Nuh-uh, stop whatever you're going to say. I _promise_ you, no matter what, they're not going to disown you or do something stupid like that. They love you. We're they're sons, family... in some weird, mildly incestuous, way. Huh, you know if you think about it, my dad kinda facilitated this whole thing, so he really can't say much about us falling in love."  
  


"Love?"  
  


"No, yeah, or you know lust? Blind sexual desire? Animal attraction? Stop me anytime, dude."  
  


Ryan did just that. Sitting up, he let his lips capture Seth's in a gentle kiss. His breath whispered over Seth's cheek to his ear as he whispered, "love." 

Seth smiled and pulled Ryan close.   
  


"You know, even though I felt bad for the guy, but when you hit Nate, that was so totally hot."  
  


"Yeah?" Ryan asked with a quirked eyebrow.   
  


"Who would think stark brutality could be so sexy?"  
  


"Seth?"  
  


"Huh?"  
  


"Shut up."  
  


"Yeah, it's just when you stop and thi-" Seth didn't get to finish what he was saying because Ryan's lips were on him again and they were damn fine lips and he'd been too long without them to deny himself now.   
  


Seth broke away for air and Ryan's hands began to explore under Seth's shirt. "You know Nate really knows what he's doing, he so totally set you up."  
  


Ryan growled and took a nip at Seth's bottom lip. 

Seth smiled into another heated kiss. "Right. So not going to talk ever again."

_________

The End.


End file.
